and my parents are still madly in love and i feel awfully guilty
Things:
1. Inside (nightclub) is dirtydirty. Never want to go there again, or anywhere where sex-dancing (bahah) with strangers is mandatory. !! (Like, actually! ) Seriously though, what the f. Isn't there anywhere to just dance with your giiiirlfriends to (preferably) good music where the threat of being grabbed from the behind to grind awkwardly isn't a constant concern (and I mean constant. every minute.)? Even Dance Cave is losing its cred in this department.
2. I finished the first semester of second year Social Work at Ryerson University yesterday. How? I'm actually not sure. Anyone who thinks Social Work is easy, I dare you to try it. Actually, I do know how I finished this semester... by the grace of God + the strength he gives. That's it though.
3. I'm going home sometime. Not sure when. Not in a rush, I don't think. Still some volunteering to do and even more cleaning (ugh,ugh,ugh...). Hopefully more hanging out too. Freedomize love feast tommorow!!
4. I read Go Ask Alice today in one sitting, and decided to google it after. I'm fairly certain I believe the idea it is fictional. The vocabulary and epilogue especially irked me to be unfitting. But really, who knows. The reality of the situation still remains.
5. I have a holiday book list. I hope I read them all... I'm so exicted..
edited to be a little more realistic. Go Ask AliceStalin's Russia (half done)
Strange Heaven
Perks of Being a WallflowerThe Rules of AttractionEverything is Illuminated
The Sweet Hereafter
Strangers in Paradise Pocket book #2
E-mail from Mom just a bit ago:
"Hi guys,
Abby went into the hospital tonight to be induced into labour. The hospital started an oxytocin IV but stopped it 15 minutes later because the unit was short-staffed. Consequently Abby and Brendan are staying overnight at the hospital and we assume they’ll try again tomorrow-depending on the staffing situation. We’ll keep you posted."
baby. baby soon. baby very soon. baby in kitchener, naomi in toronto. babybabybaby ...
who is sharing my excitment? i wish i was at home so i could scream with glee with someone. though eleni + rhobi are holding their share in excitment, which is great.
i want to say hello, my name is auntie naomi. i am going to be in your life for a long time, let's be good friends. good friends can be 19 years apart, right?
i think i'll drop out of school and spend time with baby.
ALSO:
short-staffedness !! oh health care, how you need to be improved.
how you ask? more kids in nursing school yes, but MORESO, more education transferability for NEW CANADIANS!! apparently, there is an urgent shortage of nurses + doctors in Canada, but THERE ISN'T. they are driving taxis, cleaning hotel rooms, working at tim horton's ... sigh.
"If tommorow can change you, who will save the future?" - Our fridge, unknown author
I am developing a serious taste for white wine.
Mmm..
deep thoughts from the mind of naomi...
I've been challenged, so I want to challenge you:
Why do you do what you do? This year this month this week this day this hour this minute?
What's the value? What's the purpose? What's the end result?
Doesn't anyone believe in purity anymore, in a non-lame youth group-y way?
My standards for a boy are absurdly high.
But it's not like anyone has come around and I've thought to myself "Hmm, no, he's not up to my standards". Cause there's no boys.
Ah well, if I stay single, I don't have to compromise and amalgamate my [international] dreams. Marriage complicates that stuff up.
I won't lie, I think about boys all the time. But no particular one. Just the concept, I guess...
i won't try to put this in eloquent wording,
all i have to say is,
i feel so empty and depressed.
going home was not a solution for me being upset;
i feel like i am upset with more things from being home.
and some days I don't miss my family
and some days I do
some days I think I'd feel better if I tried harder
most days I know it's not true
- Wild Sage, the Mountain Goats
I will always miss my family
I figured I should start my new, trendy Vox journal with the poem behind my username, you of my heart. The poem is called "it may not always be so; and i say" and was written by e.e. cummings [who is my favourite poet, by the way].
it may not always be so; and i say
that if your lips, which i have loved, should touch
another's, and your dear strong fingers clutch
his heart, as mine in time not far away;
if on another's face your sweet hair lay
in such a silence as i know, or such
great writhing words as, uttering overmuch,
stand helplessly before the spirity at bay;
if this should be, i say if this should be-
you of my heart, send me a little word;
that i may go unto him, and take his hands,
saying, Accept all happiness from me.
Then shall i turn my face, and hear one bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands.
