song that changed my life (& i'm sure will change my life again when it is more applicable).
also, listen to the cover of this song by blind man's colour. mandatory, for real.
*****
if I could just leave my body for the night:
then we could be dancing, no more missing you while I'm gone
there we could be dancing, & you'd smile and say, "I like this song"
& when our eyes will meet there, we will recognize nothing's wrong
& I wouldn't feel so selfish, I won't be this way very long
Sometimes, I don't recognize the woman I'm becoming. I attach labels, responsibilities, theologies & hobbies to myself that seem to make sense, but sometimes seem so abstract...
what to look forward to:
the black walnut,
plans to see ladies i never see enough of:
Hillary, Amy, Carmen,
training for a 10k with dad,
great weather,
nephew's first birthday party,
coffee,
cycling paths,
space to do work
room to make peace with my decisions
i effing love the city of london, ontario
...
where's your relaxation?
where's the time required for your health
been hating on my new perspective.
been hurrying along no meal is ever done
but you could win a rabbit
you could win a rabbit or a rib
...
bad mind let me put on good habits.
been working to put on good habits.
sometimes i can't find my good habits.
-- animal collective
perhaps another city/ will enamour me with insight/ fill me with concrete decisions/ or just leave me warm-feeling
London-dreaming, province of Ontario/ entirely unpredicted/ to conjure thoughts looking forward/ to departures and arrivals
where to rest my feet, place my bags/ where to walk without possession
where to contemplate relationship with/ and the eternal cycle of growth
The trees grasping for each other
in front of a province in St. James Town
standing tall; broad shoulders.
the private parking lot, Dan's bicycle, the empty backyard of the empty house next door.
what I will no longer see.
what I've ignored for very long, a very long three years.
My room, filthy but so warmly familiar, is what i cannot leave.
my neighbourhood, even more so,
wont let my wrists go.
i've been home a week from my six-day adventure in new york city. there, in a way, i learned how to be a better person and a better friend.
we did some touristy things, but my favourite moments were in cafes, some were in the morning, or afternoon, evening, or early, early morning. the early morning (1-4am) cafe moments were the most memorable, absurd, hilarious and/or exciting.
i left with the resounding feeling i must return. ideally, in the summertime. i have no phobia of travelling in the winter asexemplified in how i have spent my februaries two years in a row, but obviously summer would be a bit easier/enjoyable.
my favourite neighbourhoods were greenwich village, soho, chelsea & williamsburg, brooklyn. my favourite things to consume were cupcakes, bagels, pretzels, pizza and coffee.
i was surprised and delighted by the diversity of street vendors (falafel! pistachios? pretzels! bagels!) and subway performers (r&b family singers! pianos!). i was distraught and disturbed by the lack of "homeless" folks and the fact that i did not see one woman wearing a hijab.
je t'aime!
