11 posts tagged “chicago”
I am having a potluck party on Saturday to celebrate my birth, I'm excited.
I'm excited for the exec's secret santa exchange that requires writing a poem.
I'm very much anticipating my & Cheryl's trip to Chicago on Dec 13&14. She is a flight attendant so the flight is stupidly cheap. I am so thankful that I'm able to return to the city I love for a second time in a year! and in an Obama-elected Chicago.. oh my goshhhh!
I am not enjoying waking up everyday with a headache requiring tylenol.
I fully acknowledge I am drinking too much caffeine as of late, and am faultily considering lattes a meal.
I am anxious about this important paper due Friday & big presentation Wednesday. There is simply no time.
I am not looking forward to working 8pm to 8am tonight, amidst my piles of homework. Worst. Timing. Ever.
I am not anticipating staying up all night Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday... which seems very viable.
Okay, Naomi, let's try to do some work...
I LOVE IT.
i just started listening a couple weeks ago. i wish i had begun earlier. ira glass' voice is so soothing. the other day, i found myself talking to myself on a bike ride home, saying "it's this american life, i'm ira glass." repeatedly, trying to imitate his radio-perfect voice.
if you haven't ever checked it out, it's a weekly chicago radio show that pretty much tells stories on a different topic each week. you can search through their archives, i'm sure you'll find something you love.
the first time I heard the song Is There a Ghost by Band of Horses, a girl who worked at my placement (which now my workplace) showed me because of the neat video. I really liked it too, and vaguely remembered the tune and lyrics.
When Alanna and I travelled to Chicago in February, the hostel's lobby was always playing music, and after a day or so, it became clear there were a few playlists to choose from. One of these playlists had Is There a Ghost on it, and after a couple days, it really felt like every time we were coming back to the hostel or going for breakfast the song was playing. It almost became a homecoming song and it was comforting even, to know I was coming back to something constant. It also made every step feel like an epic adventure.
A couple weeks ago I was in Old Navy. After about five minutes I finished my unsatisfactory browse and Is There a Ghost came on and I just stopped what I was doing, and pretended to browse for a few more minutes just so I could listen to the rest of the song. I cried a little, and smiled a lot. I hadn't listened to the song since, and now I'm happy I didn't.
Tonight the story just came to my head, and I proceeded to search out the video on youtube, to complete the circle.
& so here it is.
why I like Chicago.
good burritos everywhere.
food i never even knew existing & being tremendously delicious.
some people can recognize our accents.
journeying through the loop.
being reminded of my sister-in-law & brother most of the day.
americans are nice, kind, considerate, thoughtful, looking out for us, etc.
a hell of a fabulous theatre scene.
cherry effin coke.
belmont avenue.
free museums.
the glasnost apparent in the americans i met about what is going wrong with their country, as opposed to the blind eye approach to many ills of canada that have mostly been revealed for me through a critical social work education.
how spreadout things can be, how big the city is.
honesty!
great conversation with the server at kopi, linda at the front desk & wil in the kitchen at hostelling international chicago, our host matt & his friend will, and pretty much any other stranger or acquaintance along the way.
the brown line.
cheap hispanic bakeries, cheap alcohol.
clarke's.
the ark thrift store, bongo room, earwax cafe, artemio's bakery & futuregarb, all on n. milwakee.
still finding unsettling:
advertisements for health care on the L,
"flu shots only $14.99",
segregation of neighborhoods
I LOVE CHICAGO
but i have the continual ache of missing family that won't go away, no matter how cool milwakee avenue is.
I wish I wouldn't cry so hard & so long every time I talk to my Dad on the phone.
There was something he was saying, about how I "live life with gusto" and that I'm always set out to carve my own path, & one of its consequences will be missing my family.
I'm not sure that's ever going to be easy to accept.
It's like, every time I listen to Wild Sage by the Mountain Goats I cry really hard, so I had to stop listening to that song. It's my favourite, but it was getting a little inconvenient, you know, walking to school &birthday parties, wiping tears, trying to look presentable.
Most days include some kind of battle to fight the blotches of red on my face & puffy eyes so I don't have to burden others with the obligation of asking me, "What's wrong?".
I've been waiting to go to Chicago for so long, but now that it is time, I have cold feet;
I blame finances and a broken heart. I'm so bummed, I don't have motivation for big things like this right now.
But who am I joking? it's who I am, right?
I hope this trip will take me outside of my current affect and outlook,
to step outside of myself and into another big city.
I feel I'm too broke to go (but hey, I'll always be).
When something goes that you felt was close to you,
it's easier to feel God, and know he was close all along.
little dreams can come true with some willpower & a neat roommate doubling as a travel buddy.
only $138.62(!) for a round trip to chicago;
now let's see if i love it as much as i do in my dreams/mind.
five day stint in chicago, illinois followed by a five day stint in london, ontario = naomi's first real reading week adventure.
only eleven more days!
Last week I watched a lot of The Office, like, all of seasons 1 and 2 in less than a week. And it almost made me wish for a similar life, living in the town I grew up in, at some crappy receptionist or sales job. Somehow TV can make anything glamorous, hmm? But this quote sums up much better how I feel about home, and staying in the place where I grew up; it's from Garden State:
"You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone. ... You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place."
This summer has really reinforced into me this idea. I miss my house that I lived in from age seven to seventeen; but not much else about Kitchener (there are things I enjoy, yeah, like uptown Waterloo, Encore Records [okay. I do miss Encore Records.]). I think it all really started before I moved out, with not having solid roots in Kitchener. I don't blame this all on my surroundings, though I'm sure it helped that I felt like I never had much in common with most of my close friends nearing the end of my living there, I guess I just stopped investing, too (Except,.. I really did love my Grade 12 Drama class...).
My parents are putting the house up for sale next month. They're moving to London for work (both of them). Bye bye Queen's Blvd. My brother & sister-in-law are in London for Brendan's school, and Aaron's still in China. Home is definetly not a place. It's insulting to even think that.
I assume a lot of people have the town where they grew up (if they move away from it) as the place they can always come back for a good time, for reunions of family+friends, rehashing of memories and whatever, eating your favourite burger,blabla. Kitchener isn't that for me, but I can only hope that Toronto will be, when I leave and go whereever else it is I might go (if you know me, you know the plans are grandiose, detailed and long). So... Toronto, you're my new hometown, are you okay with that?
I'm going on my third year of living in the place I love, yet I've lost so many ties with so many people since I've been here (and definetly before,), it's debilitating.
There's so much more to living life than figuring out where "home" is...
Nevertheless,... I'm still between the click of a light and the start of a dream. Us kids know where we know.
I'm at this place lately where I don't want to eat food anymore, I just want to drink coffee. I'm hungy, but I don't wanna put anything in my mouth. Revolting. Archi told me to take up smoking to rid myself of my appetite and then I wouldn't have that problem anymore, ironic considering my superstition about taking up smoking (see entry labeled "pake, i'm trying everything to know you").
I finished my summer course and I'm actually kind of heartbroken about it. The course itself was interesting, and it means I have a lighter courseload this year, but it's the people I'll miss... the characters. Angry Lady, Chatty Cathy, and the lovely friends I made. Toronto gets better the more people I meet. Once I leave I imagine it will be hard to do so... but grad school in Chicago or NYC seems like a definite (Plans plans plans. "many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails";).
Saw my very best friend/eternal friend, Rhobi last night + checked out a book launch of one of our favourite artists.. www.shannongerard.org sheisfantastic. We then ate late at the Green Room & discussed smoking cigarettes, imposing morality and her new life goal to chug a beer faster than her champion-boyfriend. I love bestfriend'sboyfriend; BFB for short (just made that up now).
In other news, Starbucks has been booking me to work on Sunday nights lately: also heartbreaking. Church is Sunday nights. I'm in a place where I need to hear David reciting this calmly postcommunion .. God shows up in this tradition for me.
Numbers 6:24-26
"The LORD bless you
and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace."
....
I'm still working on understanding GRACE. Oh wait, I never will. It's one of those things.
i adore riding my bike amidst deep thoughts on warm nights. (note: i began to write riding as 'wriding'... ) so, i went to see built to spill. i got a sweet leany spot on the railing, which made my experience far better. seriously. i really like lee's palace. i might even go as far to say that it is my favourite venue in toronto.
i think it was necessary for me to go, it felt right and good for me to sing the bridge of 'carry the zero' very loudly. oh it was really beautiful the concert it was, the encore was too jammy for my tastes though. it was so necessary not just because i've loved built to spill for over five years, but mainly because i haven't been to see much live music this past year. and it seriously makes me feel less okay. i need it in my life, it's really essential.
i went alone, like i go to most of my favourite concerts [one reason for less live-music-going]. if there was one thing i would change about toronto... it would be that i had more friends to go to concerts/shows with. hm... sigh.
setlist for my future reference
1. Liar
2. Made-Up Dreams
3. The Source
4. Time Trap
5. Velvet Waltz
6. Third Uncle (Brian Eno cover)
7. Big Dipper
8. Nowhere Nothing Fuckup
9. Car
10. Conventional Wisdom
11. You Were Right
12. Stop the Show
13. Carry the Zero
Encore
14. Randy Described Eternity (27-minute version)
i've been dreaming of chicago lately. i feel it in my bones, i need to go.
who reads this, anyway? doesn't matter, because [see title].
