11 posts tagged “music”

The Magnetic Fields' Distortion is an album I have a lot of trouble growing tired of. It may be because it is so deeply entrenched in my good memory bank. Distortion is Chicago to me. This would make more sense if the Magnetic Fields were from Chicago (they're from New York) or if we saw them live there (we didn't). But, when I travelled to Chicago in early 2008, I was really into Distortion, it was a brand-new release and my then brand-new friend Tanya handed me a burnt copy of it a week before. I put it on my iPod for the trip. I listened to it most of the bus ride there & whenever music was to be played in my ears. Our tour guide/host, Matt, played the album once, too.

Some songs occasionally skip this memory, but others do not have that luxury. Namely, Xavier Says is the one that can't escape that fate. The first few seconds of the song bring up the thought, the dream of Chicago so SHARPLY it is undeniable, inescapable.

It's almost as if I associate a distorted guitar tone with the City of Chicago.

oh my distorted, fuzzy heart. how i infatuate you with places & things.

song that changed my life (& i'm sure will change my life again when it is more applicable).

also, listen to the cover of this song by blind man's colour. mandatory, for real.
*****
if I could just leave my body for the night:
then we could be dancing, no more missing you while I'm gone
there we could be dancing, & you'd smile and say, "I like this song"
& when our eyes will meet there, we will recognize nothing's wrong
& I wouldn't feel so selfish, I won't be this way very long

If you feel like singing a song, and you want other people to sing along
Then just sing what you feel, don't let anyone say it's wrong

And if you're trying to paint a picture, but you're not sure which colors belong
Just paint what you see, don't let anyone say it's wrong

And if you're strung out like a kite, or stung awake in the night
It's alright to be frightened

When there's a light, what light
There's a light, what light
There's a light, white light
Inside of you

You think you might need somebody to pick you up when you drag
Don't lose sight of yourself, don't let anyone change you back

and if the whole world's singing your songs
and all you're paintings have been hung
just remember what was yours is everyone's from now on
and that's not wrong or right
but you can struggle with it all you like
you'll only get uptight

there's a light, one light...

(can't say i love wilco's new album, but love love this song.)

the first time I heard the song Is There a Ghost by Band of Horses, a girl who worked at my placement (which now my workplace) showed me because of the neat video. I really liked it too, and vaguely remembered the tune and lyrics.

When Alanna and I travelled to Chicago in February, the hostel's lobby was always playing music, and after a day or so, it became clear there were a few playlists to choose from. One of these playlists had Is There a Ghost on it, and after a couple days, it really felt like every time we were coming back to the hostel or going for breakfast the song was playing. It almost became a homecoming song and it was comforting even, to know I was coming back to something constant. It also made every step feel like an epic adventure.

A couple weeks ago I was in Old Navy. After about five minutes I finished my unsatisfactory browse and Is There a Ghost came on and I just stopped what I was doing, and pretended to browse for a few more minutes just so I could listen to the rest of the song. I cried a little, and smiled a lot. I hadn't listened to the song since, and now I'm happy I didn't.

Tonight the story just came to my head, and  I proceeded to search out the video on youtube, to complete the circle.

& so here it is.

okay so, some awesome shows coming up..
11 feb: vampire weekend; horseshoe
2 mar: evangelicals; el mocambo
4 mar: josh ritter; phoenix
6 mar: jason collett; lee's
17 mar: justice; sound academy *
20 mar: caribou; lee's
16 apr: hot chip; phoenix

* though i really would like to see justice live, i'm not sure i want to see them at the docks/i wonder if the crowd would totally suck. eeeew.

out of all of these, hot chip is a must!

someone come with meee!

I'm hoping tomorrow I can proclaim in my blog,
"and then she found the dress"

I'm quitting life tomorrow (well, just not going to placement) to search Kensington market up and down for a sweet cream-coloured dress. I have vetoed the mall's pitiful selection, but am also having trouble discerning between cream, beige, gold and off-white.

Oh, I'm looking for a bridesmaid's dress, by the way.

I am hoping I can find an excuse to buy a pair of sparkly gold shoes with purchase of needed dress (that may or may not be out there).

Anyway, a lot is going through my brain lately. Not like that's new. I've been dreaming a lot about Chicago lately, and getting really scared about how I've committed to go to Zambia. I saw Persepolis this weekend, and I'm still thinking about it. My back has been hurting a lot lately. I'm worried my heart is on the way to disrepair but I'm disguising it as being okay. I wonder if I'll ever know how to really love someone in an intense, "relationship-al" way if I'm never given the chance. I wonder about patience and if I know anything about it. I've decided I'm giving up alcohol, caffeine & facebook for lent. I'm tired of idealizing people, and people idealizing me. I'm so thankful for the intense executive meeting we had tonight, and how deeply I get to know these random people I've stepped into leadership with. I don't want to feel disconnected anymore. From myself, from my community, from my friends. I crave a deep&close relationship with God, but lack the effort too frequently. What I really want to give up forever, is fear. Don't want to build my house on it anymore.

But you know what? God has been doing good things. Dad's surgery went really well, and placement offered me a part-time job when I am done my hours. God's good beyond the good things that happen though. He's bigger than feelings of being afraid, and feelings of being secure as well. I guess there's a certain peace to be found in hindsight.

I leave as soon as it gets light outside,
like a prisoner breaking out of jail
and I steel down to business fifteen-five-oh-one
like I had a bounty hunter on my tail

and somebody stops to pick me up
but he drops me off just down the block
and along the highway where the empty spirits breathe;
wild sage growing in the weeds

walked down the soft shoulder and I count my steps
headed vaguely eastward, sun in my eyes
and I lose my footing and I skin my hands breaking my fall
and I laugh to myself, and look up at the skies
and then I think I hear angels in my ears
like marbles being thrown against a mirror
and along the highway where unlucky stray dogs bleed
wild sage growing in the weeds

and some days I don't miss my family
and some days I do
some days I think I'd feel better if I tried harder
most days I know it's not true

I lay down right where I felt cold grass in my face
and I hear the traffic like the rhythm of the tides
and I stare at the scrape on the heel of my hand
'til it doesn't sting so much and until the bloods dried
and when somebody asks if I'm ok
I don't know what to say
and along the highway
from cast-off innumerable seeds

wild sage growing in the weeds.

-john darnielle.

fantastic venue, beer in hand, surrounded by people, singing "my heart out" to Don't be so mean Jellybean.
good night. concert attended alone #4537041.

and oh, my, God, I love the weather. beautiful cold.

i adore riding my bike amidst deep thoughts on warm nights. (note: i began to write riding as 'wriding'... ) so, i went to see built to spill. i got a sweet leany spot on the railing, which made my experience far better. seriously. i really like lee's palace. i might even go as far to say that it is my favourite venue in toronto. 
i think it was necessary for me to go, it felt right and good for me to sing the bridge of 'carry the zero'  very loudly. oh it was really beautiful the concert it was, the encore was too jammy for my tastes though.  it was so necessary not just because i've loved built to spill for over five years, but mainly because i haven't been to see much live music this past year. and it seriously makes me feel less okay. i need it in my life, it's really essential. 
i went alone, like i go to most of my favourite concerts [one reason for less live-music-going]. if there was one thing i would change about toronto... it would be that i had more friends to go to concerts/shows with.  hm... sigh.

setlist for my future reference

1. Liar
2. Made-Up Dreams
3. The Source
4. Time Trap
5. Velvet Waltz
6. Third Uncle (Brian Eno cover)
7. Big Dipper
8. Nowhere Nothing Fuckup
9. Car
10. Conventional Wisdom
11. You Were Right
12. Stop the Show
13. Carry the Zero

Encore
14. Randy Described Eternity (27-minute version)

 

i've been dreaming of chicago lately. i feel it in my bones, i need to go.

who reads this, anyway? doesn't matter, because [see title].

I'm going to see Built to Spill tonight; yesterday I bought the last ticket. I feel pretty cool. .....and so very excited.